QUENCH MY THIRST.
---------------------
wan to SERVE HARD
CCHMS : 50
brother to receive Christ
go VJC
ripples slipper
EB : 35
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
Friday, March 31, 2006
ahh. no visitors tmr. no converts this wk. gah. its so bad. >.< sad la. wanna meet some ppl this wk but all failed. haix. i really pray for ppl to come tmr and for converts tml. i wanna bring ppl tml. its WORLD WITHOUT STRANGERS.
i have a bad sore throat. pls pray for me oki?
oh manx, tml is the last day of parent's day sourcing. come on! we need WOW stories!!!!!
today actually planned to go home slp de. then met serene from east c. went w/ her to meet some ppl. haha, outta four, one converted, so glad that she chose to open her heart. yay! thank God for this new sister!!!!
come on! i wanna see cchms grow so much more.. ahh.. i really pray that i will haf ppl to bring tml and they will come to know God. though its already very late but i still have the faith. YAY!!!
tml gonna see if meet 130. serene says WILL. so that means let's aim for more, 140, 145? yay!!!! then celebration at nice is gonna be so much fun and all!!!!!
yup yup. tml newbies are gonna come for svc the first time!!!! pray that they will really enjoy themselves!!!
pray for sore throat kays?
God bless
changeme.
7:54 PM
Thursday, March 30, 2006
WOW. today CG was super cool larx. so many ppl. yay! really glad to see so many new faces. woo hoo!!!
i love michelle.
cos she is super cute, sweet and nice.
she is really so faithful and so loving!
yay!
i love jacqueline.
cos she is so funny and so joy everlasting.
she is enthu and really friendly
i love JAC!!
i love grace.
cos grace may turn into pearly,
who is my dearest shepherd.
she is sweet and kind.
yup yup.
today CG was fun and laughter filled.
may all CG be so blessed by God.
*guideandleadus*
God Bless.
changeme.
8:45 PM
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
why do parents who say that they are not concerned over their child's results bugging their child over studies?
gahit makes no sense.
I WILL GO WHERE YOU LEAD
THE PERFECT PLAN
changeme.
11:15 PM
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training ... we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 1 Corinthians 9: 24-25 (NIV)
give me a FORGIVING heart
a SERVING heart
a LOVING heart.
a heart WITHOUT bitterness
SPEAK
Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing... (NIV)
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
NO STUMBLING
guide me.
changeme.
10:49 PM
ahh.. i feel so tired out. one whole day nv go back home at all. haix. until now that is. today has been really tiring.
went to sch. had PE. haix. then after sch planned to meet liling. but in the end wasn't fruitful. anyway found joy in sch. haha. she was talking to michelle. then met lots of hope ppl. cool. then went to find jolin and grace abt math hwk. haha. i miss the sec 1 days. walked out together. then went w/ joy to find lestari. walked ard and talked bout some stuff. gah. then went to church office re-string guitar. unsuccessful though. only managed one outta 2 strings. got to know where church office. was cool.
went to look for tino after he called me. meet him barely fifteen mins, 15 dollars gone. gah. spent another 5 eating dinner and last 5 on ezlink card. oh well. i dun mind blessing my bro. love ya bro. aiya, the most dun eat for the nxt 2 days only. =) nvm one larx. then went for tuition. was a relief teacher. blehs. slacked for like 2 hrs. waste of time/
came back hm. gah. feeling like super tired. running on adrenaline now. sickening. feeling sorta hysterical.
cat they all apply for HK trip. gah. wanna go but dun really have the spirit. wateva. i'll really miss out though. aiya, dun care manx, i wanna tour a few Hope churches after my o'lvls.
SPIRIT FILLED.
i feel so empty, or rather directionless. GAH. wanna focus on God. FOCUS!!!!!!!
wanna experience YOU and be touched by YOU.
i dun wanna doubt where i am gonna go.
show me the way?
i wann to trust in YOU
trust in YOUR plan.
i know YOU'll always lead me.
i place my life into YOUR hands.
LEAD ME.
an OPEN heart,
i await for YOUR teachings,
i await YOUR call.
SPEAK, YOUR SERVANT IS LISTENING.
lots of stuff running are im my mind.
sidenote: i used to enjoy lying but i've found TRUE satisfaction in telling the truth. it's so REFRESHING!!
pray for jolin, grace, jac and michelle. love them all. SISTERS forever!!!
i'll meet ALL of you at the end of this race.
pray 24/7. speak 24/7.
*calltome*
God bless
changeme.
10:17 PM
gah. can't slp cos of scary images in my head. wanna watch a scary film but dun dare. lolx. haix.
read the bible to calm my mind then nid to slp le.
NITEX.
cube(1997) cube 2 (2002) cube zero (2004)
changeme.
2:01 AM
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
classic Sci-Fi short story "And he built a crooked house", by Robert A. Heinlein.
tesseract
Madeleine L'Engle's novel A Wrinkle in Time, the characters in the story travel through time and space using tesseracts. The book actually uses the idea of a tesseract to represent a fifth dimension rather than a four-dimensional object (and also uses the word "tesser" to refer to movement from one three dimensional space/world to another).
wow. i found this theory on hypercube.
really fascinating and all.
but can't really get the idea. haix.
today was an okay day.
prttey tiring though.
haix. tml have to run 2.4km
gah. i wanna try to finis 2 rounds this time.
sian one manx. how to survive?
oh well.
marcom stuff coing along well.
i'll need an updated contact list.
since ben is going to the army soon,
i'll have to start on it myself.
oh well. cool
tml gonna meet a contact.
need prayer.
open and soften her heart.
really hope to see her come know God.
i need a prayer.
to stay stablise in God
no wavering.
gah. help me?
this week is so unorgnaised.
pray for all the newbies.
God bless.
changeme.
11:01 PM
Monday, March 27, 2006
haha. just watched So You Think You Can Dance?. super cool manx. nice la. haha. nxt wk in LA gonna be even cooler. i see samba and ballet and other latin dances!!! haha. definitely must watch nxt wk. its so fun and nice and graceful and elegant!!!!!! woot! love dance!
yay! follow up-ed on jacquelin today! haha. i think i too hyper le. joy says that she is very teachable. haha. yup! hope she'll be available. She has a really understanding dad! he said that he respected her decision. WOW! thank God! its so cool manx. =) yup. really glad to have this new sister, cos she is really vry fun loving, & i really do see much potential in her! yuppie!
started on double duty. MARCOM!! yay. i love my ministry. really love manx.
it rained today. "ask for the rain when the rain is falling". woohoo. saw that on shirley's blog. cool. yup, this is the last lap. gonna run like nv b4. Holy Spirit is falling, can you feel it? hah. this wk is gonna be memorable. =)
God bless.
changeme.
9:28 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
gah. 'm sorry
please give me strength, courage.
i need You.
forgive me?
changeme.
6:31 PM
sometimes we are too engrossed the the world's type of love. the world's standard of love.
NO.
i wanna be captivated by God's love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
prefect love.
You captivate me
i am captivated by You
You are captivating.
Amen!
today there was a word that struck me.
co-heirs.
we are co-heirs w/ Christ. How cool is that?!?!?!?
wow.
i mean, we are actually siblings to Jesus.
WOW.
ain't that cool?
tobecaptivated.
changeme.
12:41 AM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
HAHA. aging population!!!
cat said that cchms had an aging population!!! LOLX. can't stop laughing. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
yup, what she said was true. its really cool how God moved so quickly in one wk. 3 mths of being stagnant and one wk, we broke it. cool manx!
PRAISE GOD!
changeme.
11:20 PM
woohoo! yay! i got another new sister today. her name is michelle and she is so cute!!! haha. yup. really glad that she chose to open her heart to God today. hehe. love ya sis!
i was actually late for passion and tot abt not going. then God sent a taxi to me. woohoo, that's like so cool!! haha. then i went for passion and enjoyed the whole event manx. hah. giodeon was funny. lolx.
anyway we went to eat lunch after that. yup. then there was a brother frm Germany, Berlin who came all the way here to visit our church. woohoo! haha. really exciting manx. then i had to go to meet ben. swee hong came!! yay!
then cos ben leaving for ns soon, so he delegated tasks. hah. basically, my responsibilities doubled la. so, yup, i guess it was a sign from God to step back from dance lorx. so i decided not to join le. focus more on marcom. haha. i dun really mind la, cos i really love serving in marcom. haha. yay! marcom rocks!!!!
then michelle came la. haha. she very sweet gal. =)
we went for svc and it was really cool. pastor ben preached today la. haha. really insipring manx. i enjoyed today's svc. anyway, at the altar call time, pastor ben called for converts and michelle went!!! yup, and he also called to those who wanted to serve more. so i went w/ swee hong lorx. hah. hope to see her serving more!!
i think God really moved this week la. even though i din bring any one to Christ, though i din meet my goal of 2, God still moved in my life. when i decided to give my week to God, God really took control and amazed me. yup. it was a really great experience. i am really so wowed by God. yup, so i wanna give myy nxt week to God. though i dun feel the drive like last wk, but i still wanna trust in God. this is the last lap manx. its so vital!!! lets all dash to the finishing line for God. woo!
yup. its been an exciting wk and i can't wait for the next one. iwanna give my weeks to God, give months, years and my entire life. yay!!
God bless.
changeme.
11:01 PM
'm so sorry.
'm so lost.
forgive me?
gah
changeme.
2:27 AM
Friday, March 24, 2006
wk one has ended. woo. its sortaa scary how fast time passes. mid yr coming . prelims. o'lvls. gah. its really so fast. can't imagine where i'll be next year, but i know life in God's plan is nv boring.
let me trust
let me stand firm
let me always
always love You.
oh manx. we can reach 750 manx. woot!!!! its gonna be super duper cool like crazy.
*wannaexperienceYou*
PLEASE.
God Bless.
changeme.
5:17 PM
Thursday, March 23, 2006
i will stand for You.
nope, i will not fall.
i will rejoice!
i will rejoice in others' joy!
i WILL!
guideme,cleanseme
changeme.
10:30 PM
had parent teacher conference today. super boring. my mom also felt it was bad. she din really want to go. gah. wasted 2 hrs of my life. haha.
anyway today had a pretty good day. yup. today was really fruitful. yup. wah, i got to know lots of ppl in 1 HM. really had a fun time all of them. all so young and carefree... i miss those days.
yup. joy came into the school too and we had a day of sharing the gospel. yup. there is fruits to day! yay!!!!!! haha. i have 3 new sisters! woohoo! love all of them manx.. yes, they are really so faithful.. =). we met what we set out to do, 15 ppl.. but i really wanna do more...
but somehow i dun feel excitement. i am really glad to see that there are ppl who open their heart to Jesus, but i also yearn to see someone who i made the first contact with, open their heart. imagine the fulfillment and joy it gives. but i am really thankful, that cchms is finally growing again!!! haha...really glad that all three of them took the step of faith to trust in Him. really hope that can retain them, & i really pray that they will start to taste God's goodness asap.. God is good and God is real! really thank God for these fruits...
tml can't go for prayer meet. too late. haix. i wanna go lehx, but its really can't. gah! cool manx. w/ in one day, God moved so much. wow! haha. really thank God for this.
i just hope to see my contacts/friends open their hearts.. wow. i say 2 & i believe that it will come. =). love u gals, so that why i wanna share la. =)
its been a great day & i can't wait for tomorrow.
God bless.
changeme.
9:48 PM
had pe today. i ran one round tne sch continuously. gah. hope to be able to run 2 rds continuosly bythe time PFT comes ard. te whole day was so tired. kept slping in bio.
supposed to meet liling, meixuan and zuohong today. but only got to meet zuohong. shared some stuff to her la. sorry if i came on too forcefully. yup really sorry la.
today wasn't good. too disorganised and flustered. too nervous. yup. but tml will be better lorx. din really get to meet swee hong. SORRY!!! but tml b4 cg shld be able to talk to her more lorx.. yup..
thanks jolene for being willing to meet me, and liling for allowing me to meet her next week. yay! all of u are so sweet! =)
met joy after meeting zuo hong. discussed abt how to say lorx. how to make it better, clearer and more concise. yup. hope tml will do much better than today. haix. sorry zuo hong! the talk and discussion was great and refreshing. yay!
met tino to eat dinner. i am sorry, din go for tuition today. gah. yup, so i slacked until abt nine plus b4 went home... haven wasted time for so long le.. feeling relaxed...
have lots of things to do manx.. now got one whole unwritten ss essay and physics test and phy txtbk. ahh!! help!!!
really hope to see fruits tml.
God bless.
changeme.
12:04 AM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
today went to school and had a not bad day.
then cl oral came & ruined my whole mood. gah.
they started late and they told the sec 3s to come later. then they gave priority to sec 3. and they were SO slow. really wasted our time. iw as very angry and indigant abt it la. totally upset abt their attitude for sec 4s time. are our time not precious? haix. i am really very angry abt it la. i even had to pray a few times to be in control. it was really cool, cos He really answered by distracting me from the whole oral by engaging me in some crap talk.
oral was ok la. teacher said i lack confidence though i had the ability and knowledge. gah.
then cos of the lack of efficiency in oral, we had to take taxi to nexus for dance auditions. then go there le, got persuaded by cat to join. or at least try. i think its pretty okay la. but for me, i can't really perform within the time in practise. i need time to familiarise myself with the moves la. yup. fell so weird lorx, cos like all of them can catch the moves so easily. haix. gonna try for one mth la. then by the end see how lorx. maybe i'll stay maybe i'll go. i know that marcom will always come first la. yup, i really need to pray on it. haha.
its the second day le!! how how???? i haven had time to sit down w/ all of my contacts and talk w/ them. i only told them some stuff. gah gah!!! come on! i need to do this. i wanna see a miracle, i wanna see God move!! show me!!! i wanna WIN! i said i would at the beginning of this, & i WILL. i believe in Him. come on, let's watch SOMETHING happen.
*i trust in YOU, please, don't disappoint me?
God bless
changeme.
11:03 PM
20th March 2006
God can beat your greatest dreams.
Give him the biggest dream you have,
And He'll turn it upside down, downside up.
He'll give you in return something beyond your dreams,
beyond your wildest imagination.
This is the way God works. During the whole motivational workshop in school today. I can't help but think more abt God.
I used to think highly of such workshops, but now, I see these workshops are self-help.
Mankind trying to help each other, the blind leading the blind.
No. this workshop is going to help me grow closer to God. This workshop is going to motivate me to work harder for God. Yup. I wanna go further than where I am now.
Well. I felt really touched by this. Really felt a push from the Holy Spirit.
This week is going to be all for God. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this week. I can't wait to see 750. can't wait to see 2 frm me coming to know Christ. I know I'll be able to do it. By the end of this week, I'll have a really great testimony. Cos I really have faith that God will really move this week. Yay!
Got to know 2 more friends better today. Liling and Mei Xuan. Haha. They are in same class as Zuo Hong. Cool manx.
Cl oral is tml. Haix, pray to do really well la. Its so last min notice, but with God, I can do it. I can achieve it. Yes!
God Bless.
changeme.
10:53 PM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
i wanna do it. no more just saying, i will start doing.
its the last week already. i will have faith cos i know that thru God i'll meet my goal. it may seem impossible but i shall have faith. i had fear for the past week but today's svc was uplifting. "take courage" "it is I". woo! yup.
sch starting. haven really finish hwk. gah. timetable also come out le. well, i look forward to the june hols cos it'll mean that the chinese o'lvls are over. i wanna do well so dun have to worry abt cl at the EOY. yup.
feeling tired out today. oh well. gah.
its the LAST week. if not this wk, then when? i shall put PASSION first in this week. i wanna have a part of this 750. yup.
kkays. super tired. gonna go slp.
God bless.
changeme.
12:37 AM
Friday, March 17, 2006
things do go wrong.
gah, but i still hold on to the faith that God is in control
thanks joy.
thanks all of u girls.
i love my CG!
i admit, i may not be s.mature enough, so i will stop trying to carry beyond what is my load. yes. i will trust in God's plan.
was feeling super cofused/empty/at peace/hysterical/weird out b4 CG. gah. must be cos i woke up late and stuff la. i felt much more stablised atfter CG. thank God, it was really Him who settled my heart for the rest of the day. i experienced God as the One who provides peace.
tml gonna be a great day. yay!
God bless.
changeme.
11:36 PM
chem was fun though i was late. it felt familiar to be back in s'pore poly. i lost my cert on my way back home but nvm. haha.
tml got bio lecture and stuff. haix. a few more days left to sch. o'lvls are near.
wat can i say
expect sorry?
what can i do
expect apologize
can i go back in time?
can you forgive all these?
praying to see a harvest. hoping, wishing.
PLEASE.
*aharvestiscoming.*
changeme.
12:21 AM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
lolx. talked to joel just now. he was really reluctant to type out his testimony. gah. haha. lots of ppl dun like to type it out. oh well. stage fright? haha.
today has been an absolute slack day. i enjoyed myself. i heck care all my hwk and stuff. HAHA. feeling so lax. oh well. nvm.
anyway tml got chem workshop. will definitely be lots of fun la. haha. i'll enjoy myself.
God bless.
changeme.
11:07 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
thought abt the past few months.
it has been great.
i believe it will be greater.
though it may seem difficult, impossible,
the harvest WILL come.
yes. it will.
i dun wanna miss it.
Holy Spirit has been pouring.
i believe that it'll be over us soon.
i believe that it will come to pass.
joy came back frm sibu today.
welcome back!
*it'spouring*
changeme.
11:05 PM
just threw away a large stack of postcards. gah. wasting paper. hehe. sorry la. actually chessia said it can be used as a daily diary, postcard for each day. but i prefer to type? haha. thanks for the suggestion though.
went to sentosa today. actually cat said shld got early in the morn. but we drag till 10 plus then reach harbourfront. hehe. then me, grace and cat went to sentosa. we went to siloso beach and went to sort of tan. then after like 45 mins they wanted to go into water. thank God i brought extra clothes. at first felt weird cos they din really bring much clothes and i brought like 2 extra. haha. but it was used. yay! thank God. then went to wash up. we went to 7-11 to eat and saw kim there. haha. she was there w/ her class.
we then sat outside and eat instant noodles. haha. then after a while priscilla also came. cool man. i called her at first but she din hear. i atill thought ii call wrong. but cat told me to call louder and it WAS priscilla. haha. cool manx.
we took the tram to underwater world, but too exp la. we ate ben & jerry ice cream. cool manx. my first time eating. then we went to take bus 10. went to grace hse. then came back lorx.
still haf lots of hwk to do manx. ahh. its not hols at all. gah. mracom lots of stuff coming up. yup. need balancing. moderation. haha. ytd talked to pearly. it was some sort of a wake up call. yup. tml nid to go sch. gah.
God bless
changeme.
10:33 PM
can someone say miracle? blessing?
haha. my dad allowed me to go sentosa.
cool man
thank God..
changeme.
12:30 AM
Monday, March 13, 2006
solved the basic.
set my heart on God. yep
wanna go Sentosa tml. if can go then its a miracle.
both sides. gah.
set my heart on God.
always.
changeme.
11:46 PM
gah. 'm so sorry.
gah. screwed up. damn. i promise, i tried not to. dang.
love It's You by Kevin.
reminds me of You.
'm sorry. gah.
*iwannarepent*
changeme.
2:50 AM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
had passion meet early in morn. then went near s11 stone. then went to find tino. waited for swee hong. had svc. it was frigging cold in nexus. haha. then had east meeting. then ate dinner. went to heeren. met hsiao en and yenn. then met jake and michelle. yup.
passion meeting was great. the prayers really touched my heart. yup. it was really cool and all. i really remebered some of the extraordinary things God did in my life.
then went to s11 and then found tino. he use my phone call so many ppl. haha. but nvm. his sim card is prepaid so i dun mind.
then had svc. it was very cold la. but the end of svc i was shivering and all. can't stand it. today's sound was super loud and aircon super cold. haix. oh well. love the songs sang today. yup.
then had east meet. gonna haf a new rc manx. haha. really pray to find it la. haha. yuppie.
ate dinner and all la. then went to heeren. then jake and michelle came at like 7.45pm? late. haha. but nvm. i got to see what jake looked like and michelle too la. haha. yup he's nice la, and could tell that michelle was hyper today. lolx.
had to go home after tat lorx. haha.
was an eventful day la. =)
God bless
changeme.
9:39 PM
super tired.
watched disney on ice just now. probabaly will do it review on it on my next entry. it was really cool and cute. love the way the ppl danced on ice. really graceful and super elegant la. super pro lorx. they danced like its so easy. haha. it was beautiful.
oki. going to slp now. tml passion meeting early in morn. yup.
God bless
changeme.
12:35 AM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
today is a pretty slackish day. hmm.
joy went to hope sibu, so let's keep her and the team in prayers ya? haha.
had shepherding, i shepherded my sheep. amanda and jasmine came along too la. talked abt some stuff and all. played a little bball. haha. yup. was pretty fun la. really nice, to just fellowship & stuff. yay! haha.
had an incident on bus. apparently there was this guy on the bus who was drunk and had a hangover. i sat in front of him and he vomited. Thank God i din get much vomit on me. yuck. i switched seats. the stench was really bad and i held my breath thru out the whole trip. urgh. i heard some giral say that she'll nv do such a thing that can make a fool outta herself. yup. we shld do all worldly things in moderation la.
tml is like the last day of sch? finally! haha. really so happy la. got back progress report. its pretty ok? yup. tml gonna watch disney on ice.
i am so worried.
God bless
changeme.
8:18 PM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
sian. went to tuition. went thru differentiation. i wanna slp le la. how?
i am so tired out. sch is gonna end soon. i need sleep. ahh.
God bless.
changeme.
10:32 PM
got back phy today. same as chem. both 60. phy is 27/45, chem 30/50. haix. phy is beyond expectations, chem is below expectations. oh well. ii guess everything balances out. thank God. this wk finally the end of term one. left ss CT paper to take.
later got tuition. i still got amath, emath ws to do. plus phy tys and cl newspaper cutting. oh well. see how la. haha.
yuppie.
i will ALWAYS love you. come what may.
God bless
changeme.
3:50 PM
thank God for giving me a chance to be a listening ear. guide me further?
thank God. i will trust in Your ways. guide me.
changeme.
12:14 AM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
can u tell me how to help him? can u tell me how to help her? God, can You please teach me? guide me? i dun wanna see them hurting.
iwannagiveaid.iwannahelp
God, pls guide.
changeme.
9:40 PM
got back CT for egeog and chem. it isn't good at all. total letdown. absolute. luke 18:14. haix. it was the verse i looked for after my chem period ended. oh well. i really wanna depend on You. to really do my best to serve.
today had evax cg. made a few good friends. i even got to know 2 of zuo hong's classmates. how cool is that. haha. it was ok la. i got 3 ppl. yes. =)
stayed in school till quite la bah. haha. can You tell me how to give aid? please? can You?
met nathan on my way back. shocking. lolx.
God bless
changeme.
8:00 PM
my aircon is spoilt. dripping water. and my door's wood is destroyed by the water. i am afraid for the wal behind the aircon too. haix. pray for me?
God bless.
changeme.
12:55 AM
Monday, March 06, 2006
i wanna slp. lol
changeme.
9:12 PM
i slept at 2.30am last night. woke up at 6am. dead beat la. really absolutely exhausted. dragged myself to sch. really super dead.
i needed cucumber for bio prac today. but my hse dun haf. early in the morn, where to find?i asked some ppl but they all say dun haf. then my mom also say the market close. i was dead la. the near my bro sch, got one market open. so i went to see. there was actually cucumber. Praise God!. haha.
today got back amath and bio CT. amath actually B3. but thank God for mr kuek. he very nice. gimme one mark then i got an A2. bio got C5. haix. oh well.
had dance today. i think i not joining le bah. tink its God's will bah. i really wanna concentrate on PASSION. i wanna see 750 coming true. yes, God. i believe in You. l wanna be a light.
feeling so burdened for lower sec. haix.
God bless.
changeme.
8:36 PM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
cat says need to plan for o'lvl studies. so i am going along w/ her. been staying at home for the whole day. pretty much doing nth at all. can't wait for the hols. its only one wk more. if only o'lvls were over? i guess. i'll certainly miss my class and teachers. plus cchms will suddenly be left with really few ppl. oh well. i must make it a pt to increase the no. of ppl in cchms. there must be a vibrant community. no more waiting. no more losing.
IT'S TIME TO WIN.
God bless.
changeme.
4:16 PM
Saturday, March 04, 2006
yes. i may be physically tired but i am spiritually refreshed.
11 am- passion meet.
12 pm-east meet
3pm- svc
6pm-marcom meet
630pm-eb1 meet
i woke up late. but thank God i got a taxi as soon as i walked out onto the road. & the driver & traffic were great. i reached in 15 mins.
passion meeting is really great. can't wait to receive and hear testimonies on this. yup. 750 ppl by march/april. we can do it. let us do it so as to encourage others that 'yes, this is possible.'
east meeting. 160 by march. 170 by april. the voyage may be tough, but we will make it. at the end, we'll say, "i've won" . no more trying, let us run to WIN.
ccchms gals. lets meet all our goals. 15 ppl. we must & can do it. yes, we will see people coming in. no more waiting. no more. we shall win all these souls.
marcom haf lots of new stuff to do. i am excited. haha. lots of articles to hand in. we need MORE WRITERS! anyone interested, pls tell me. exciting month!
then dennis met all chms gals. sec 4s. we will win JUNIORS! yes we will. no more all upper sec. lower sec will also be in this voyage.
it is going to be a great month. i am aiming for a high lvl of commitment. i wan to win! no more trying. no more losing. NO MORE!
anyway, i haf got 2 tix to go disney on ice on 10 march. at night. anyone interested in going with me? pls tell mi.
IT IS POSSIBLE.
God bless
changeme.
8:51 PM
just helped ben to do some editing.
feels great to be doing marcom stuff.
haha.
tml gonna be a hectic day.
got meeting at nexus at 11 am.
the east meet at 12 -2.
svc at 3-5.
marcom meet probably at 6.
wow.
a toally full day.
& pearly said maybe shepherding b4 11am.
cool manx.
a full day of God's work.
YAY!
something great is gonna happen!
God bless.
changeme.
12:32 AM
Friday, March 03, 2006
hmmx.
cat was sick today so planned to see doc w/ her
but we went to career exhibit w/ grace
pretty boring there.
mostly for jcs and uni students.
then went to walk ard suntec.
went to eat thai xpress.
woohoo.
first time eating.
really love the food there
our total bill was like $45?
haha.
anyway then we wwanted to go polyclinic.
but it closed earlier.
sian. ah well.
i wanna buy a handbag and a new pair of sandals
watever la.
hope to get every young woman's battle at hope tml.
haha.
love my membership card.
lolx.
God bless.
changeme.
10:30 PM
Thursday, March 02, 2006
had early morn prayer meet.
i think something great was gonna happen.
can't wait.
went to suntec
watch i not stupid too.
with like the whole skool?
haha. it was cool.
i think lots of ppl cried?
i din. lolx.
its not cos i am cold blooded
it was just, i dun see e reason.
my heart did hurt.
it clenched like mad.
but really,
i tot tat the emo scenes were overboard
haha.
like ppl cried when the dad got hurt,
or when the parents realised
how wrong they were.
or when the dad beat up his son.
or when their gang left them.
nope. i felt my heart clenched when,
i saw him shivering and trembling after the beating
when one said i haf a plan,
the other said i'll follow you.
when one fell, the other picked him up.
they ran together.
when they tried to turn back,
but they weren't accepted.
when the song said,
tears haf run dry. no more tears left.
i would like to watch it again.
if only to evaluate it.
i love subtleness.
dun like the overwhelming crying in the movie.
nah. not for me.
God bless.
changeme.
9:56 PM
can't stand it anymore.
all i want is You.
reassure me.
comfort me.
i trust in You.
*iloveuGod*
God bless
changeme.
12:07 AM
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
haix. i dunno how la. wat to say.
dota dota dota.
when i read too much
u tell me to stop.
when he plays till late at night,
u only ask abt his prev game.
why are u onli interested in what he does?
why u nv ask me abt what i read?
u ask him abt dota, abt badminton.
u are mildly concerned over his studies.
WHAT ABT me?
small lil' me?
why are u only concerned over my studies?
stuidies studies studies...
u always compare me to others..
EVE EVE EVE..
the one who scored 249 like me,
but in RP now...
WHY?
ppl got 9 As in a'lvls.
they got in watever uni.
why kip telling me all these stuff?
why aren't u pestering my bro over his studies?
whhy when he scores badly
u dun try to provide better tuition?
it is his streaming year!
i dunno... WHY?
why do i feel like another adult that u are trying to control?
i am not saying that u dun love me,
u do. but why are u so unconcernede abt my life,
EXCEPT STUDIES?
why are u so interested in my bro,
and mom so interested in my younger sis?
what abt me?
u want me to stand on my own,
u tell me to be independent
but at the same time
u kip the leash on me so tight.
who is gonna be interested to care?
which one of u two?
u both are so convinced
that my spiritual family is bad influence.
dun u realise that i am trying to be better?
or are u too busy, too unconcerned?
ppl say its the middle child that is neglected.
but its not lidddat for me.
cos i am the oldest, u expect so much.
cos my bro din do well for PSLE,
so u require less?
if i knew, i wouldn't wan to do so well.
am i not ur child?
why do u try and test experiments on me?
why do u depend on me when u need help,
and push me away when u dun need it?
is being the most knowledgable one in the family,
causing this?
if i weren't so smart,
if i din know so much,
would ur attitude be different?
i see both ur love so extremely for them
u spend so much on his hobbies,
and u, so much on her favourites.
and me?
i am just the smart one who is lazy,
the one who spends the most money,
the one who comes home the latest,
the one who talks back,
the one who believes in a different God,
the one who has her own views,
the one who is different frm what u wan.
is that why?
is it cos i am different that u treat me in this way?
i honestly dun care anymore.
i live by ur rules,
i listen to you.
cos ur authority is frm God.
i dun need ur love,
cos i have perfect love, frm God.
i dun need to crave ur attention,
cos i know God's attention is on me 24/7.
i dun need u to sacrifice anything, money/time,
God has given me his most precious Son.
i still love u. both of u.
i know that u do love me.
i know that u do care for me.
but i know,
God's love will make me whole.
God's love will heal.
so i'll trust in God,
that everything will be alright.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
God bless.
changeme.
11:24 PM
CT is finally over.
thank God.
really can't stand the stress of studyin.
i think this time gonna be pretty ok.
hope will get some really good results
& others will be avg.
went to life bkshop today
i spent like 2 hrs ++ there.
really couldn't decide on what bks to buy la.
so many bks i wanted to read.
haix. how to get them all?
i really love to read bks la.
can't stand it.
all the bks but no ability to obtain.
after antagonising for abt an hr plus,
i finally chose 2 bks.
still wanna buy more though.
dad doesn't seem happy that i wanna buy more.
haix.
he always i wan wat, he will buy,
then when i wan it, he grumbles.
its not like i wan ridiculous things,
i wan BOOKS!
how? earn my own money to buy bks?
wat ever la. so sian.
my dad like super strict la.
everything also after o'lvl.
then he say after o'lvl also wanna control.
wat the...
when i acct to him,
he find me irrritating and ever changing.
then i dun acct, he say i dun inform him.
very wat la...
i wan to go crazy over bks also can't.
my bro not even crazy over badminton
yet u buy him rackets that add up to thousands.
why? i can buy many bks with thousands la.
why support his hobby but not mine?
bks haf no future is it?
badminton is prominent?
WHY?
i really wan to read.
haix.
got CL hwk to do...
gtg.
God Bless
changeme.
10:52 PM